Things they never told you before getting a great dane

scubaboi:

  • When you go out in public, like to the dog park or pet store, people greet your dog by name but you have no idea who they are. 
  • Others literally cross the street to avoid her or run from her in PetSmart saying “OMG! That’s a biiiig dog!”
  • Before passing by another dog while walking in public, you look for trees, fences, posts, etc. to grab onto.
  • Your 110lbs. puppy looks so sad and doesn’t understand why other dogs run away with their tails between their legs. 
  • Male dogs relentlessly attempt to hump her. Maybe its the challenge. No one can reach.
  • You successfully teach your dog not to lay on the sofa, but she thinks that sitting on it doesn’t count. Yes, she can sit on the sofa. 
  • Instead of going around, she jumps over the armrest and you to lay on the other half of the sofa. And when getting off she jumps off the back.
  • It takes two hops to go up or down a full flight of stairs.
  • You have to get her to move so you can see the large-screen TV.
  • It takes at least 3 people and 2 muzzles to get her to lay down at the vet’s office.
  • It takes at least 2 to pin her down to get a tick off. 
  • She is capable of pulling down and dragging a large, strong human.
  • She has no idea how strong or big she is and is therefore seemingly clumsy.
  • She can’t turn tight corners so she is constantly backing up.
  • Cleaning slobber off walls become part of your housecleaning regimen. 
  • Her heavy breathing shakes the bed and you wake up when she runs in her sleep.
  • When in the car, she can stick her head over the head rest and out the window while standing behind the seat.
  • When stopped at a red light, people stare because your car is rocking back and forth.
  • She can fit a tennis ball sized piece of food in her closed mouth and looks at you innocently like “What? I’m not eating anything.”
  • While playing with another dog, she accidentally runs into you with such force causing black bruises and swelling.
  • You have to get a mattress for her bed.
  • You fear that the floor is going to cave in when she pays inside the house.
  • You can no longer walk in a straight line through the house.
  • You don’t have to bend down to pet her.
  • She is so easily spooked that she jumps at leaves blowing in the wind and you have to walk her around the house so that she knows the invisible boogeyman is gone. 
  • When the doorbell rings, even if its just on TV, you’d think a swat team of 50 people were invading the house.
  • She is at a perfect height to rest her head on rails and counters. 
  • You have to teach her not to lick the plates in the sink.
  • You fill up the water bowl every few hours and think a 5 gallon bucket would be much more appropriate, except it won’t fit in the sink.
  • The outside water bowl is the bird bath.
  • The excess water leaking from her jowls after drinking is enough to water the houseplants.
  • The size of her pee puddle is more like a lake and it takes towels, not of the paper variety, to clean it up. 
  • When you hear a faucet running you immediately want to jump up and yell “Outside!”
  • Her poop will clog a toilet. Think Jurassic Park sized. 
  • You’ve learned to force a smile when people ask “Do you have a saddle for that thing?” “How much does it eat?” “Is that Scooby-Doo/Marmaduke?” “Where does it sleep?” “You keep it IN the house?!” “How tall is it when it stands up?” “How did was it when it was born?” “Does it bite?” “That’s a really big lab.”
  • People want to take a photo of your dane with their dog or kid to show size comparison.
  • Your monthly dog food budget is one of your highest budget categories. (I was going to say almost as much as gas, but with rising gas prices, that’s not true anymore.)
  • You have to buy double doses of medicine because they don’t make a dose for giants, costing doubly as much.
  • Your vet has renovated their home, put in a swimming pool and bought a personal plane. 
  • A 4 year old girl asks, “How did you get your puppy so big?”

Jag kan knappt vänta tills det e dags att skaffa GD!!!